The Complexities of an Extra-Marital Affair

 The Complexities of an Extra-Marital Affair

People usually end up having an extra-marital affair because they get attracted to the idea of enjoying that added spice to their life which their marriage can no longer offer. Infidelity is as old as the concept of marriage itself. More and more people are becoming prey to the sinful idea of extra-marital affairs but interestingly, most of the spouses don’t even realize that there is something wrong with their marriage, that the misses or the mister are going behind their back. According to a research, around 40 percent cheating partners admit that they are having an affair or had one in the past. Some people feel it’s alright to cheat as long as you are fulfilling all the duties and responsibilities of an ideal partner at home.
Mr. and Mrs. Verma make an attractive couple, they throw the most elegant parties and they seem to be very much in love. Later, Mr. Verma infidelity-1024x745was seen romancing Parul who is a close friend of Mrs. Verma. He justifies by saying, “I love my wife, but it’s been 11 years since we got married and a man tends to get a little bored. Parul is also married and she too feels the same way. So, what’s the big deal?”
Psychiatrists believe that males are polygamous by nature and it is especially difficult in Indian scenario since a majority of marriages that take place in our country are arranged marriages. There is a high possibility that spouses will not click and therefore they will look for options outside of marriage. For some people an extra-marital brings something they are not getting from their relationship, which is not necessarily sex. Some people do it for mental/emotional stimulation because their partners are not emotionally available to them.
Karan Sehgal, married for 12 years who has recently been blessed with a son says, “I don’t feel guilty. I am a dutiful husband and I love my wife but my girlfriend is my soul-mate. We have same intellectual level and she is my ideal lover but you can’t marry all the people you love, can you?” For Prerna, it’s all about sex, “I love my husband a lot and I can’t think of any other man taking his place in my life but unfortunately he doesn’t enjoy sex as much as I do. I don’t want to live like a nun! I am young and I have my needs.” And then there are habitual cheaters and sex addicts! “Sex is wilder and more electrifying when you are with a stranger”, says Dinesh.
 But is it really worth it?
It really depends on who you are and what kind of relationship you share with your partner. Sushant, who owns an advertising firm, says, “Humans are not monogamous, it’s our natural instinct and if your partner is okay with it, there is no reason why you shouldn’t.” Some people feel it’s a great idea to bring back the spark which has been missing from your marriage. But if you feel a strong sense of guilt, you need to learn the art of backing-off before it’s too late.

Sumit Panwar

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