Reach Indians and South East Asians living in Australia



Men often wonder why women can be stressed out and cranky over the ‘simplest of things’. In this article, we give you some of the answers, and some tips on how to healthily deal with situations where your wife feels a little under the weather.
Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but ultimately we have to live together on Earth. Men often wonder why their wives often appear more stressed than they do. Even in cases when both parties work and share chores equally, women seem to go through it all with more stress and emotional baggage than men to. It may be a caricature, but there is some truth behind the image of the laidback husband and the obsessive compulsive wife who must always be five minutes early to every appointment.
Here are some reasons why this happens.
1. Women are judged differently to men
While men are judged on their ability to provide, to earn, to protect, and for their personality traits such as charm, sense of humour and leadership, women are generally judged on parameters such as youth, beauty, and perceived skill at managing a household. Though we live in 2015, these judgements are not done consciously, and often happen at an intuitive level. So you may think that unwashed dishes in the sink or a heap of clothes on the bed are ‘not a big deal’, but your wife knows that if a surprise visitor comes and sees either of these, it is she who will be the target of judgement. Not you.
2. Judgement matters
It is okay for us now, as adults, to say that judgement of people that we don’t know doesn’t matter, but did we think the same when we were kids? Did it not matter to us as three-year-olds that we should wear clean clothes, have a packed lunch, and have our parents pick us up from school every day right after the bell? Did we all not make fun of the kid with the untidy clothes who brought packaged snacks for lunch and was always the last one to be picked up after school? Whether we like it or not, judgement matters, and it matters a lot more to women than it does to men.
3. Women are more intuitive
Studies have shown that women are more empathetic than men. They tune in better to non-verbal cues, and can read emotions in other people better. So if you think that ‘nobody cares’ about the things that your wife stresses out about, it is quite likely that she has already picked up cues in other people that suggested to her that they do care. And between you and her, she is better equipped, so assume that you’re wrong and that she’s right whenever she tells you that ‘it will not look good’. Just take it on faith.
4. Women want to be heard
It is possible that your wife is venting out her frustration at an ever louder level in the hope that you will finally listen. Men tend to minimise their wives’ feeling, so if you do that often, it could be that she resorts to more nagging to drive home to you the importance of the issue. Generally, a man’s reaction to this increased levels of nagging is to withdraw even further and underplay the issue even more, which leads to polarised behaviour. And before you know it, you are ‘that couple’, the laidback husband and the shrew of a wife. So whenever you feel the urge to say, ‘It’s not that big a deal, right?’ think twice. It may be better to acknowledge your wife’s feelings and deal with them.

Jason Lee

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