THE ART OF BEING LESS BORING

 THE ART OF BEING LESS BORING

One of our biggest social fears is that we’re boring. Conversation forms such an important part of our social fabric, and we all know how we think of that guy whom no one’s listening to, who everyone wishes would shut up right now. We don’t want to be that guy. But we also want to speak and enthral and engage. We want to be thought of as interesting. But we always fear that beneath the masks that people wear, they may be thinking: What a bleeping bore!
 In a recent socio-psychological study, scientists found that we can bore other people not just by what we say but also by how we say it. Both content and style matter. There are four things that we can all do in our daily conversations to come across as less boring.
Don’t complain
The number one symptom of ‘boring’ people is that they’re overly focused on how bad their life is going, and they can’t wait to unload anyone within earshot about their problems. This goes hand in hand with an eagerness to ignore the other person’s predicaments even as you launch into a soliloquy about how unfair fate has been to you. Needless to say, get over yourself, appreciate the fact that everyone has problems, and that there is great dignity in being able to laugh at life rather than mope under it. At the very least, if you have to complain, be empathetic enough to listen to the other person’s problems too.
Show some depth
It has been found that boring people often display a certain banality in their conversations. They talk about trivial and superficial things, and even when they’re speaking of something deep, they display a definite lack of depth. To prevent this from happening, speak only about issues that you’re knowledgeable about, issues that you’ve given some thought to. As someone famous said, if opening your mouth means making a fool of yourself, it’s better to be silent.
Step outside of yourself
Boring people are generally self-centred (or self-centred people are boring) and talk about themselves a lot. Don’t you have a friend who loves to tell you everything about their day, their vacation, their pet, what they had for breakfast, how much salt there was in the curry etc? Do you like listening to all that minutiae? Display empathy. Ask questions. Listen. Make sure there is balance in the conversation between listening and speaking. Remember that it’s a two-way street.
Don’t be serious, and don’t try to be funny
When it comes to a sense of humour, everyone thinks they have one. You probably have one, too. What will put people off is if you try to be overly serious or overly funny, which means you’re not being yourself, and you’re not trusting your natural humour to work. This can make you come across as forced and uncomfortable. To get past this hurdle, just relax and be yourself. Don’t think you should be a certain level of funny to be interesting. You don’t.
 

Rashmi Singh

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