Reach Indians and South East Asians living in Australia



In Bollywood, actresses are just props. They don’t have to act. They have to look seductively at the camera, maybe twist their hips a few times to nightclub music, appear in the key scenes fully dolled up and clothed ‘down’, and in general be good at looking awesome with their mouths shut.
Our list of ‘actresses’ that cannot act to save their lives should prove this beyond doubt.
1. Katrina Kaif
There is much to like about Katrina Kaif. She’s beautiful…well, that’s about it. She doesn’t dance well – not even in her new, improved, ‘Kamli’ version – she is atrocious at emoting, and she doesn’t know Hindi. But when have such trifles stopped people from making it big in Bollywood? She makes men swoon just by blinking a few times and allowing her hips to gyrate. If you could do that, why bother with acting?
2. Jacqueline Fernandez
Who says Bollywood is the home to Indian beauty pageant winners? We welcome beauty queens from Sri Lanka too. Look at Jacqueline Fernandez, who has now been living in Bollywood (that’s Mumbai) for a good five years. Like Kaif she doesn’t speak Hindi, and like Kaif she looks like she has more muscles in her hips than in her face. She came to prominence in a 2011 movie called Murder 2, in which she plays a – model. (Thumbs up for appropriate casting.)
3. Mugdha Godse
She differs from the first two in her ability to speak Hindi, but little else. Beauty pageant winner? Check. Real life model? Check. Came to prominence playing the character of a model? Check. Cannot act? Check. We think she has all the required attributes to become the next big thing.
4. Diana Penty
In Bollywood, we don’t like petites. Or dark-skinned women. Or women who are not naturally busty. Otherwise we’re quite liberal in our tastes. Diana Penty, unfortunately, ticks at least two of those three boxes, and in addition to that, she has the propensity to appear in every scene as though she were endorsing for a jewellery advertisement. Which means that in spite of her first movie, Cocktail, being a hit, it’s unlikely that we’ll ever see her again.
5. Celina Jaitley
Another addition to the beauty-contestant-turned-bad-actress list, Celina is so bad acting-wise that even Bollywood – that hallowed institution of no standards – had to reject her. After a few false starts she gave up and became a content mother and wife. Will she appear in movies again? We doubt it.

Megha Vaishnav

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