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Few things affect us more than romantic rejection. The feeling of being spurned by another when we bare our everything and declare our love for them can be devastating. In this article, we look at a specific kind of rejection – the arranged marriage – and how to deal with it.

Rejection of any kind is hard to stomach. It stabs at our self-esteem and snatches away our positive image of ourselves, which we build slowly, brick by brick, over time. This is more so if the rejection happens in an arranged marriage set up, where the other party pulls out of the ‘deal’ without explanations or with the lamest of excuses. After a few of these, one is apt to ask oneself if one is not deserving of love and companionship.

Here are five ways in which to get over it if you get rejected in an arranged marriage scenario.

1. Accept it
The first step to dealing with the disappointment and hurt is to accept its existence. A common instinctive reaction will be to deny that you’re feeling bad. Whenever someone asks you how you’re feeling, you will be tempted to answer: ‘I’m fine’. But don’t believe these lies, acknowledge that you’re feeling hurt and misunderstood, and start the process of healing.

2. Vent
Keeping all the emotions and tears pent up within you can be unhealthy. Occasionally, lock yourself up in a room and cry out your guts if you feel like it. This will let all the emotions out, and you afterward you will feel relieved and lighter.

3. Update your online profile
It could be that you got rejected because the photographs and profile you put up online are outdated. It is important that people get to see the real you on the internet, not a version that is five years older. So update your online profile. Make it engaging and fun. Add a dash of your personality to the words that you use to describe yourself.

4. Talk to your loved ones
This will come easier to women than to men. But regardless, make the effort to talk about your feelings and the way forward with your parents, family members and close friends. Parents can be relied upon during these tough times, because they have an instinctive ability to protect you and give you positive guidance. Use it. Don’t push them away.

5. It need not be your fault
Remember that every rejection says as much about the person rejecting as it does about the person being rejected. Though it may seem that way at first, understand that being rejected is not always your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you.

Divya Singh

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