What is the major cause of loneliness in Youths?
Jason Lee | On 03, Oct 2018
Are in your 20’s and always lonely? If yes, you are not alone. While the popular opinion is that we always have friends to have fun or party within our 20s and 30s, the fact is that we are lonelier just after college. According to a 2016 study, loneliness peaks before we get to 30 in both genders. Also, a 2017 campaign that aimed at identifying the hidden problem of loneliness among men in England found that loneliness peaks at 35 and more than 10% felt lonely every day. How is this possible when this when we are supposed to be thriving? Many will assume that we may have career issues, relationship breakups, and money problems in our 30s, but very few will not include loneliness on that list.
There are so many reasons why young adults are feeling lonelier. According to a licensed therapist, Tess Brigham, many young adults think that if they are not married or engaged with a fabulous career and a robust social life before 30, then they are failures. Thinking they have failed in turn makes young people feel left out and lonely. Furthermore, the feeling of failure and loneliness gets fiercer nowadays, with social media highlighting peer’s progress and success. Those who feel that they are not living a good life like their contemporaries believed they have failed, retreat and got lonelier. Also, compared to college where friends are within their arm’s reach, making friends after college requires a bit more effort because friends live far apart and everyone is busy trying to find their feet. Thus, young people have to make out time to build a community of supportive and upbuilding friends who will have a positive effect on their lives and help deal with loneliness. Sometimes, we feel lonely because it is difficult to find someone who understands our values, especially if they are not what is trending in the society. So, how do we solve the problem of loneliness?
The truth is that we have already had enough advice on strategies to get out and meet people in other to reduce loneliness. In reality, though, we are not putting them into practice. This is because we are growing up in the jet age, where millennials want their needs fulfilled quicker, and life is lived on a fast lane without recourse to relationship building. Also, we are ashamed to talk about how lonely we feel because of fear of being stigmatised, making us retreat and get lonelier. This leads to a vicious cycle that eventually results in depression.
So how do we get over loneliness? First, young adults have to stop thinking that if they do not get certain things out of life within a certain period, they have failed. Second, do not be afraid to try something or ask a stranger out for lunch because they will say no. Always take action and if it leads to rejection, take it as part of the process. Finally, do positive things with your life, find interesting things to engage in and avoid negative people.